Author Archives: dirtyta
Author Archives: dirtyta
One of the most expressive words in the English language that can mean so many different things based on its context.
Think about it. The “fuck” that you say, the way you say it and the inflection of feelings in your voice when you are angry is completely different in sound and meaning to anyone who hears it than when you say “fuck” born from surprise for example or dismay.Continue reading
Talking dirty has long been considered a great way enhance a relationship. It’s the ultimate tool in creating sexual tension. Talking dirty is not only something done in Hollywood films, it’s also a very private way for two lovers to bond and appreciate each other. So let’s take a look at a few talking dirty examples.
First the confession style appeals to many new seductive stars. The talking dirty novice will latch onto this method and carry it into the bedroom with great success. Consider any of the following confession style phrases.Continue reading
Talking dirty to the one you love (or even just the one you’re with) is one of those sexual behaviors people are uncomfortable with the first time they do it, even more so the first time they do it with a new partner. To do it well means letting loose and exposing yourself which always feels scary and is a very difficult step to take. Here are some steps to getting comfortable with dirty talk and ideas for introducing it into your sex play.
Dirty talk can feel silly if you expect it to be what you’ve seen in the movies. You might have this idea that dirty talk is something specific. But good dirty talk is completely what you make it, and to do it well, you have to be yourself. While you may take on a role in your dirty talk (e.g. the ravished submissive) you need to find something of yourself in the role. Make a list of different aspects of your personality you can draw on for inspiration.
You need to find your own way of talking dirty. Your dirty talk might be low rhythmic grunts, high-pitched squeals, or precise whispers. It might reflect the way you talk in your daily life, or it might express a different aspect of your personality. You don’t need to pick only one voice; the element of surprise can add an extra sense of anticipation, especially when your partner doesn’t know what they’re going to get an earful of next!
Most of us are raised not to swear. Dirty talk is your opportunity to pull out all the stops on the foul mouth express. Unless you’re role-play calls for it, avoid clinical terms (like penis or vagina). If you’re at a loss, do some research. Both of the books recommended below have lists of words. But you can do research online by reading some raunchy erotica or in some cases watching porn (although the dirty talk in porn tends to be unimaginative).
Carol Queen, author of the highly recommended Exhibitionism for the Shy , suggests starting on your own, talking dirty while you masturbate. Fantasize about having sex with your partner and talking dirty to them. You can start by doing it in your head, but eventually do it out loud.
One of the reasons many of us don’t talk dirty is fear of sounding ridiculous, or being put down or rejected by a partner. It’s important to set some rules when you’re willing to take risks like this. Rules like no laughing at one another, and no judgment are important. In the heat of the moment anything can come out of your mouth, and you need to know that your partner is respectful of the ways that can be exposing.
Don’t feel you have to rush right into elaborate verbal gymnastics. A great way to start with dirty talk is to describe out loud what is happening during sex. Things like “I love the way your hand feels in my …….” Or “Your ………. feels so good on/in my …….” Describe what’s happening and how it feels in and on your body. You can also experiment by telling your partner something you’re going to do to them, or something you want them to do to you.
Most of us take for granted all the different things we can do with our voice, and the impact these changes have. Experiment with speed, how fast you talk. Some things call for a staccato barrage, while some things are best said slowly. Change the volume of your voice, try whispering, try screaming, try everything in the middle. Also play with the tenor of your voice. You can sound commanding and harsh, trembling and uncertain, and everywhere in between.
Once you’ve taken the risk and initiated talking dirty with your partner, ask them to do the same. It isn’t for everyone, and you might find that you like doing it more than hearing it (or vice versa). But being on the receiving and the giving end of dirty talk can give you a different perspective on it, plus you may learn a few things from your partner you didn’t already know. Listen as carefully as you can to what they say, what they actually talk about, it will give you a very good insight into both what they think YOU like (they say dirty things to try and arouse you) as well as what turns them on (they call on their own preferences and enjoyments to base their dirty talk).
The hard thing for most people who want to learn to talk dirty is getting comfortable saying the actual words.
Dirty talk usually (but not always) involves a bit of raunch, giving voice to words you’d just not say out loud in “polite company”. While you might be playing out a fantasy involving a molecular biologist and a computer programmer, more often than not the words that want to come out of our mouths in the heat of passion are a bit less clinical.
But most of us are raised being told certain words (specifically about sexual body parts and sexual acts) are wrong, offensive, embarrassing, or otherwise off limits for “decent people”. As a result we may feel embarrassed and expect our partner to reject our attempts at dirty talk. And in some cases they are totally correct – calling someone a “cunt” or a “dick” is not polite or good manners in general company. But this generalized rule is where a lot of our repressed guilt takes over, from where we feel least comfortable actually talking dirty.
But consider – when you talk dirty during sex, you are talking dirty to a special person in a special environment of privacy where IT IS allowable and acceptable.
“Fuck me now, fuck me and keep just fucking me until I come” is a very common expression/phrase many women would dearly love to be able to scream at the top of their voices during sex, trust me. The sensation of pussy filled with cock thrusting in and out is what our bodies were specifically built and shaped for – to give pleasure during sex to encourage us to have more sex – so why not use that to our advantage?
So do it ladies.
Just shout it out.
Your guy will think he is fucking you like an absolute stud and keep hammering away at you, keen to have you orgasm on him. You’ll love to say it because it sets you free, it lets you tell it like it is and to be demanding and urgent to claim your satisfaction!
A great tip to bypass this embarrassment and free your inner cunning linguist (I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it) is to try talking dirty in a language your partner doesn’t understand.
Telling your partner what you want them to do with you (or a specific part of you) may feel strange at first, but you’d be amazed how much more comfortable it feels when you know they can’t actually understand the details of what your saying.
Granted however, this dirty talk tip involves some homework. You don’t need to go out and learn an entire new language (although people have done worse things for sex). You just need to learn a few words, and something about pronunciation and you’re off to the races. Try typing “sex words in French/German/Spanish” into Google and see what comes up.
Tip: It can be hard to find “sex words” in most language classes. Look for words about the body, and experiment with those. Remember, if your partner does not know the language, an ear is as good as an elbow or somewhere a bit south of there.
(Here’s the Carol Queen book mentioned earlier. If you feel shy about talking dirty or even just about sex and you in general – well, just read the reviews on Amazon and see for yourself.
Dirty talk sayings – what are they, exactly? These are common sexual phrases that are used in bed between lovers for the purpose of turning one another on. Dirty talk evokes images of sexual situations, realities and memories in the minds of those who hear the talk, and it arouses them. It can also be an arousal for someone to hear their normally soft-spoken, delicate worded partner swear like a sailor in bed. It is a novelty, and people get turned on by novelties, especially couples who have been together for a long time and need some variety in their sexual routines.
Women often think they have it tough when it comes to dirty talk.
After all, don’t all men just want to hear disgusting, filthy, degrading language in bed?
Most women wouldn’t even know where to start, and so convince themselves that they have no idea what their men want to hear in bed. This is a shame, because men are really simple creatures when it comes to what they want to hear in bed. It is not necessarily the gory filth that most women believe it to be. If more ladies knew proper dirty talk for women, there would be many more happy sex lives out there.
Men are basically simple creatures, and that is the first thing that women must know about them. All they basically want is to know that you yourself are having a good time in bed and are enjoying what they are doing to you. If you express this verbally, either with sounds of pleasure, gasps of encouragement, or screams of delight, this qualifies as dirty talk to most men, and they will adore you for it. Too many women are inhibited in bed and feel uncomfortable expressing themselves. This is a shame, because it’s really what most men want to hear.
Second, you don’t need to talk that much to use dirty talk for women to your advantage. All you need to do is to say a few select words here and there and you’ll be fine. In fact, you don’t want to talk too much in bed, because this can be distracting for your man as he works his way to orgasm. Just keep it short and simple, and it will be enough for him to keep running on for quite a while, which is exacty what you want.
Finally, when you DO say something in bed, try to use the dirtiest word for any noun that you can think of. This is the best tip for dirty talk for women around. Your man doesn’t want you to swear like a sailor all the time, but a few well-placed epithets here and there during the course of sex will work wonders for his libido, which is good news for you, as he will be sure to go out of his way to please you if he knows you are talking dirty just for him and him alone.
So you see, dirty talk for women isn’t nearly as complicated as you thought it was.
Men are not as complex as many books and magazines would have you believe. They basically want simple things from their women, and if you keep the dirty talk simple, descriptive, and to the point, you’ll be giving him all the encouragement he needs to please you like you never believed possible.
For a man, few things are more exciting and enticing than having a good dirty talk conversation with his lady in bed. Actually, this could even work over the phone. Some real, genuine dirty talk from you will get him going like you never believed possible. This is because such talk is so unexpected from a woman in most cases. Most women simply don’t know how to do it, or are too embarrassed to try. Well, you don’t have to be left out in the dark. You can start talking dirty with your man like a pro. Here’s how.
The first thing you should remember about a dirty talk conversation is that this is one of the few times you should feel free to let your moth just wander off on its own accord without thinking about what you’re saying first. This can rarely get you into trouble in bed. Just let all of those dirty thoughts and feelings you’ve got inside you during intimate moments be naturally expressed out loud. Even if it sounds funny to you, your man will love it, because it will be a sure sign he’s pleasing you.
Men get turned on by pleasing their women, and having a dirty talk conversation with you that is natural and not forced is one of the best ways of showing him that you’re into it. It will probably only take a few select phrases from you before he’s all over you and pleasing you in return like never before. Trust us on this, ladies…dirty talk drives men wild in bed and your sex live will improve a million-fold if you just let yourself speak freely and tell him how much he is turning you on.
You don’t even have to say anything too complicated to have a good dirty talk conversation with your man. Simply crying out “Yes!” when you feel good or telling him when he’s doing something particularly exciting to you can be enough to get his engines running. You can also ask him if certain things you are doing feel good to him. This will show him that you care about his pleasure, and he will adore you for it. Contrary to popular belief, most men do not prefer total silence during sex. A few well placed words can be all you need to have the best sex ever.
So, think of a dirty talk conversation not so much as foreplay, but as an ante-upper. Start doing it once you’ve already begun a sex session and see where it goes. Just keep it simple and don’t talk so much that it’s distracting. Just a little bit of dirty talk is all you need to create the ideal sexual situation for the both of you.
Dirty talk sayings – what are they, exactly?
These are common sexual phrases that are used in bed between partners for the purpose of turning one another on. Dirty talk evokes images of sexual situations in the minds of those who hear the talk, and it arouses them. It can also be an arousal for someone to hear their normally soft-spoken, delicate worded partner swear like a sailor in bed. It is a novelty, and people get turned on by novelties, especially couples who have been together for a long time and need some variety in their sexual routines.
So, the best way to spice things up without having to go spend a fortune on porn or sex toys is to use dirty talk sayings. Both men and women can use these sayings to enhance the pleasure of their partner. However, it is usually women who seem to have the most difficult time thinking of what to say. Watching some porn movies to hear what the women on those films are saying will help you get an idea of what your partner might like to hear. However, it doesn’t even need to be that complicated.
Basically, women should know that men want natural expressions of pleasure from you, and if you happen to throw in a few dirty words while expressing that pleasure, then all the better. If you memorize what a porn star is saying in a movie, you may come across as too wooden and unnatural in bed, as if you were reading from a script. Men don’t like that. They want to know that you are really enjoying what is going on, and you can convey this information to them simply just by telling them what you like about what they’re doing.
With men, dirty talk sayings often come somewhat easier than they do for women. Men are used to talking dirty in their everyday lives with their friends, not in a sexual way, but often when describing sex to each other. They can easily take this experience and translate it into the bedroom with you. Most women enjoy hearing their men tell them what they want to do to them and how much they are enjoying what the women are doing. Men know this, and most of them will try to at least use dirty talk a little bit during sex.
There are no real cliched dirty talk sayings. It’s really all a matter of your imagination. Say whatever comes to mind during sex, and you can hardly go wrong (as long as you don’t call your partner by the wrong name). Be natural, be yourself, and say what you are feeling, and your partner can’t help but be turned on by it…and by you!